Nodge's Journal

Wooooo! Just took a Differential Equations test and I feel awesome. :D Nothing gives me a better buzz than to take a math test that I know what to do in. Also, my professor is pure awesome sauce. I was looking at his resume and I find myself looking at his dissertation. :D </math>

Well, went to see my supervisor yesterday morning after my wellness class and talked to her about the situation. She actually agreed that I should have sent the delinquent out which was a stupid mistake on my part. But everything is straightened out and hunky dorey. >> Not going to tolerate being called a dick again though and that will spell immediate BANNINATION! from my math domain.

Also my HD for my new lappy has come in and I'm going to be running Linux on it. >> THe main reason is that I don't want to spend 100+ USD for a new operating system, but will try to get it all straightened out.

Edit: Oh yeah, thanks Yammygore for talking to me that night. :/ It really made me feel better.

Also, REEEEEAAALLY tempted to getting this shirt. *dorks out*

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/math/-/pv_design_details/pg_3/id_6804099/opt_/fpt_/c_360/

>< Went to have breakfast this morning and my carton of milk is a giant icicle. HEEEEAAALP!

P.S. Zypper: If you're still taking icon commissions, I have another idea I want to commish from you.

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one reason why I like you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.

:/ Unfortunately I may be slow seeing as I'm still laptop-less and using the computer lab atm.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I have pictures from my travels but I uploaded them onto my laptop and that laptop does not have a dial up connection established yet.

I got 50 USD, a 512 MB Card for my digital camera, a sweater and a sweatshirt, candy, a toy car, and reparations made to my car that I drive.

We also visited De Grazia's Studio while we were in Arizona. No pictures could be taken of his art though so I do not have any photos of his work. DX But his art looked interested. His art was that of the native american people near the southwest and mexico, also he helped build a chapel for Father Kino.

Also my sister and grandmother built a gingerbread house during the stay. The night before we left they gave me the okay to smash it to pieces. I took a cutting board and while holding it broadside, smashed it into the house making it explode in several gingerbread parts. Unfortunately I did not get to take a video of it. :(

I'm home safe though. So \o/

:/ I'm still in a gift giving mood. I do not know why, was there anything else anyone wanted?

Reason_why_your_logic_is_flawed

:P Stole this from a topic on an anime site I'm a member of.

omfg my back hurts, legs hurt, arms hurt and face hurts. Why you say? We went to Nashville Shores. A water park here in TN and I forgot to wear sunscreen. DX I had fun for those 5 hours though. ^^ Nothing like sand in your toes to make you enjoy a beach like area and swimming all around the water like a happy fish. Mrawr. Good God my body hurts. *busts out the aloe vera*

Today work was painful. >< My sunburn still exists. I'm going to be peeling like a snake. *slithers tongue snake like* Managed to get my work done though, yet my right shoulder joint was hurting a lot. It kept cramping up and not allowing me to exent my arm all the way.

How would your thoughts of me change if I did something that seemed completely different than what you expected of me? It doesn't affect you all in no form or fashion, but it is affecting me. I can't say what it is because I'm too scared on how your thoughts of me will change. I may tell you about it after it happens though. I'm ashamed of it, yet it's something I want to do. *sighs* It just seems I'm always wanting to meet what others expect of me. Even online.

Finally got my latest drawing after not drawing for 5 months. Tell me what you think...

( Relaxing_Nodge )

And thus ends my happy streak. I feel really stressed right now and can't explain it in emotions so I just type it all down.

The seed of doubt is a horrible thing. You get that small thought that you may not be as good as you think and it grows quickly. It started as a simple math mistake and grew into a complete doubt of do I honestly deserve to say that I'm awesome at math. It's all just false. I've let myself be criticized so much that I can no longer accept any positive feedback from others w/o including criticism in it. :/ I can't be as great as I say I am in math. If I was truly great, I wouldn't be making such careless errors. I just need to be able to hear some feedback w/o thinking about dejecting it.

So much development around this town. When did all of this start happening. When did all of the earth that I grew up around become masked by concrete and steel. It's disgusting. All of the pushed aside trees and dirt as businesses make more of their marks on this land. Just my 2 cents about it. :/

Lytewings, if you can read this entry. I hope you reached your goal for your apt. rent. If you have any questions about anything just ask. And Zypper, thanks so much for your avatar to me. It's truely awesome and I like it a lot.

Just hard to believe that a year ago I was the graduating class of 2005. I went to my friends graduation today. It wasn't as elaborate as my graduation *snorts* seeing as we are the better school, but it was nice. We've been friends for more than 6 years. We've grown up together and developed and unbroken friendship. Yeah, we get at each others throats with differing opinions. But we shrug it off and laugh.

Zypper and Yammy and anyone else graduating this year. Congradulations on making this far in your education career. May you future learning be just as fruitful as mine is. :)

I blew a chance for me to get a job. My mom set me up for the packaging department of her work and I blew it. How could I be such a procastinating ass. First I wake up late, then I didn't get up when I was supposed to, and then later I didn't even go to the application spot in town. She comes home saying she went out on a limb to get me that job and that I made her look bad. She is right though, I was too lazy to go there. I should've just taken my sister with me after school and went to that site. I'm going to risk asking her if they'd offer me a second chance. I'm really desparate. I need some source of income. I'm down to $650 left in my account and that will get me no where.

One more thing. The Scanner had to be returned. So it is back to taking pictures of my drawings if I make them again.

But doing better.

First off I would like to wish Shaza a happy belated B-day, couldn't access the comp yesterday so I couldn't say anything.

I'm doing much better. I'd be doing great if only I could find a job, but doing better none the less.

I had a dental appointment today. I finally got my cavities filled. I was so happy when I went in for my last teeth cleaning. It was my best appointment yet. One of the cavities filled wasn't even caused by me and the other was small. My left jaw bone hurts from the novacaine. >< Needles and me are very volatile.

I finally read a book. It's not a fiction book because I reserve fiction to VG's. The book is entitled The Question Behind The Question by John G. Miller. It talks about how to build personal accountability and stop placing the blame on others. He explains in detail that the why's in the world are only excuses and that if that pops in your mind to answer it with what's and how's I can be a better person to succeed. It's an awesome book to whomever thinks they are a victim and needs to self motivate to succeed in the world or just build up self esteem. Thanks to reading passages to this book I've come to able to reason out the why's and replace them with how I can improve myself and what I can do to do better in my life. The book also talks about what happens with procrastinators and how to convince yourself to get things done without beating yourself up to get them done. The only one in charge of my life is ME.

Now only if this headache could go away.

( Political_Quiz )

And finally I got a hair cut after 5 months of not having one. Now my head can breathe.

This is submission #1.

( Submission_#1 )

I'm not done with this entry, though if you want to go ahead and post your thoughts, opinions, or observations, you can.

One more thing, I also finally got MSN Messenger. I don't use it often unless I can get enough friends to add. But you can reach me as nodge_falec@hotmail.com .

So how is everyone? I've just been a bit on the stressed part. Though it's my fault anyway. I really procrastinated and ended up having to turn in my computer program a day late thus penalizing me 10% of the overall grade. That same night I got my C++ test back and I scored a 60/100 which made me feel worse.

My US Hist. class was worse. I fell behind on a unit I was supposed to do and recieved a zero for it, I even fell farther behind and didn't even do the extra credit. Next week is spring break and my US. Hist. midterm is then. I sure hope I can pass it...

Took a Calc. 3 test today. Boy, it goes to show you how Calculus is indeed uber algebra. There is a rule in math that the longer you work on the problem, the more likely you are going to make mistakes. I felt that while taking the whole test today.

What if I lose my scholarship for college.... I will lose my only funding to college and have not planned for the worse. What if I can no longer pay for college. I'll probably end up living a life of poverty as my mind wastes away... I feel so powerless. I can't do anything... I don't want to be poor.... there is not fulfillment of a life of poverty... I desire power so I no longer have to deal with these struggles. My answer to those that ask why I seek power so much is so that my life could be easier and in hopes of to gain others' respect. I also found out that I'm highly jealous of those that have found love. I just look at them and see them either holding hands or scratching the others' head and my mind just breaks.... I get the thoughts of knowing that she is not out there. That my path in life is leading me to a grand downfall of complete lonliness...

Valentine's Day is a complete joke. A commercialized time where jeweler's make most of their profit. Their commercials brainwashing men into thinking that he has to impress the one he loves with the most expensive diamond. This holiday needs to die. Why does it have to be this specific day where couples show that they love each other. Don't they do that everyday?

I did horrible on my Calc. 3 test, scoring a 64%. I'm still kicking myself on how much of a dumbass I am. I also did horrible for my algorithm for my C++ class and fear just as bad as a grade when I finish my program.

Just... I've been really bugged lately. I don't know why I'm so annoyed, I just am. I'm just sick of everything at times. Good things always seems to happen to others whereas I'm the one that gets the short end of the stick... I apologize to those I offended today on the IRC.

All that I ask is to be honest. Even if it is something you know i wouldn't want to hear...

Johari Name Thingy

I have a job on campus now. I will be working for developmental stuides as a math tutor. I hate to brag, but I think I did really well on the tutor test. It was a test that reviewed me on everything basic algebra. IIRC, the wages are about $10 an hour. So just working 5 hours a week will earn me the wages of about 8 hours at my old job. I really love tutoring. I'm really going to enjoy this job.

I also joined an anime club yesterday. It is a really friendly atmosphere. I saw anime with subscripts and with the original japanese voice actors for the first time. Once you watch subscripted anime, you'll never go back to english dubbed. I also got to play DS's with them too. Something interesting happened during a pictochat. He did the emoticon :3. I said kitteh but he said dragon. Then he was even stranger to rawr afterwards. Strange huh? >> I got questions. I will don't know how to slip them in. It was really friendly. They all understood what it was like being weird. We are all just different though. I actually laughed at myself when embarrassed this time.

Take care everyone. I'm going to try and make 10 origami dragons tomorrow. Now that I am going to have some more money coming in, I can send them to others.

( Life_Path_Number )

The results are probably so close, it's scarey.

( MeMe )

( Rejected_Crayon_Quiz )

( Picto-Personality_Quiz )

( Relationship_Quiz )

Your Social Dysfunction: Paranoid You show pervasive and unwarranted suspiciousness, and mistrust of others. You are overly sensitive and prone to jealousy.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com Please note that we aren't, nor do we claim to be, psychologists. This quiz is for fun and entertainment only. Try not to freak out about your results.

This seems very right. *sulks*

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	High
Schizoid Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Disorder:	High
Antisocial Disorder:	Low
Borderline Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

What do you know. I am Monkish. :P Little inside joke to those who have seen the series.